My Sister's Boyfriend
by Kristin Rey
Summary: This is the story of my character, Skylaar, who is Kim's sister. Kim is imprinted and from her point of view, Jared is just a stalker. R&R please!, Sorry about the rating change... the new chapter will explain it all.
1. Kim's Girlfriend

I don't know what happened, whether it was me or her friends, but someone must've been bugging her for awhile because for once she went out. Without him. What girl in her freaking right mind would turn down the first guy who asked her out mor than once since I started going to her school? Obviously not her. It makes me think-maybe she wasn't in her right mind. I'm considering the fact that maybe she was in her left mind more than once.

I love my life, yep. I'm one of those evil sisters you see on TV and movies. No, no, no, not like those crappy Disney movies like Cinderella. Ew. I mean, the classic evil sister. I know exactly how to embarrass her, how to drive away all the guys that come home, everything. The funny part is, it's not even learned. I didn't pick it up from my parents, they were normal parents who never let me do anything. Those kind. Then my sister, well, she's just a goody too-shoes. No. My talent was fatefully discovered on its own. I call it my inner demon, I look to Satin for advice. He must really love me because I always know what to do when, either that or I just must be a very loyal follower.

Anyway, why do I do these things? Another thing that sets me apart from those movies, I don't do it cause I don't like Kim. Kim is a great sister. She gets things for me sometimes, her friends are nice to me, she's the kind of sister anyone would like. I only do it cause I don't like **him**. If he can stand my tests for him, then he defintally deserves her. I call it a test of love. She calls it evil. Back to the story, I'm grateful for this day. This is the recap:

My sister, Kim, and her lovely friends decide to go on a picknick! Kidding. They decide to go on a girl's night out and get this-on the **same** night that the 'rents were out! Totally whicked right? Now this means I had the house to myself, at least most of it. I was kicked out at least half of them, and I wouldn't dare go back into some of them at risk of getting in trouble. Even at the expense of seeing **him** get in trouble. So with this all to my own, I got to work.

This special event has been stuck in my mind for awhile. This little moment is the ultimate prank. It'll defintally bring down our resident werewolves of La Push. Wait wait, let's go back on this for a moment. I don't know why anyone would want to date a werewolf. What the fuck? It's like dating a dog. Don't get me wrong here though. I love dog's to death, but I would never kiss one. It's like when someone says, "Well if you like it, marry it." Uh, no. You can go marry Britney Spears if you "like" her for all I care, but you know what? It's not going to happen. You get the point, hopefully.

So... here I am, along at least. I'm sitting cross-legged on the soft carpet in the middle of our living room. No, I'm not watching TV. So, I'm sitting here. I have Mom's emergency credit card, my personal laptop, access to priority shipping, and a genious plan. Chocolate forbid, please tell me you wouldn't take advantage of that. I mean, seriously! I'm a prankster, it's what I do best. Without that, I would have absolutly nothing in the world. Besides, **his** reaction is totally worth getting grounded for the rest of eternity... and some. I mean, right? It was only one day and I was on a roll.

Insert a little time skip here. I won't go into detail, but think of this. Two hours later. There's a teenage girl sitting on the ground in the living room alone. Problem? You really can't see the ground. Yes, that was me. I was completely surrounded by packages, plus a little complex instruction manual. Why would I need it though? I took one sly peek, and instantly shut it. I snatched the corner and let it fly across the room. Something broke, I'm not really sure what, but you know. Who really cares anyway? I'll deal with that later. In the middle of my thoughts, trouble occurs. The doorbell rings. Dang.

My body tensed up and I nearly gave myself whiplash. My head swirled toward the door, fortunately I could still see the top of the door, but the rest was covered from the tapped boxes. Mom and Dad can't be back already! I was so sure they were out shopping and then dining! Kim wouldn't be here either, she was at a sleepover. What if she forgot something though? I would have to let her in! Who would it be then? My mind scourged over all the possibilities. Of course, he would co- "Kim...? Are you there?" Well, I would say, "Speak of the devil and he shall appear." but there's two little problems. One, I'm not really speaking, I'm thinking all this. Actually, I'm thinking this whole story in my head right now, maybe I should right this down before I forget. Two, the devil wouldn't appear. I could've sworn I made a sacred pact with him a little while ago. Damn him to hell-oh wait.

Without hesitation, I jumped up and shoved all the stuff aside. Dang it! Couldn't the guys at least make a little pathway to get out? Right now, you're probably thinking "Wait, why did you jump without hesitation? I thought you didn't want to see **him**-whoever he is." Well, here's my reasoning. If I didn't get to that freaking door right now, **he** will either come in or walk away. I can't let him in here, for one, he has not right, and two, I hate him. Besides, if he walks away I will lose my chance to antagonize **him**. I made sure to walk extra slowly. My mind already presented me with a few ideas and I shifted through them carefully. Should I tell him she's with her boyfriend? No... she's an imprinted, I think that's stronger than that. Maybe that she's hiding from him. No, no, no, that wouldn't work either. Can I really tell them the truth and say she's out with her girlfriends?

Her girlfriends. Yes. That's perfect, I can just tell the warped truth. See, to me, the warped truth is law. I live by it, and no other. I didn't like lying so I didn't really do it, so I prefer to tell the warped truth. It was still the truth so to speak, just a little more confusing. I finally reached the door. I could hear his feet shifting around-good he's still there. Ok, I rubbed my hands together with that evil grin on my face. I took a calming breath-not that I needed it-and reached for the handle. Showtime.

"Hi Jared." I said in a flat monotone, working exactly the right amount of suspicion into it. He did look surprised to see me, but not that surprise. I mean, really, I did live here. "Hi," he replied. He tilted his head, trying to see around me. It kind of made me raise my eyebrows. Why couldn't he just have looked over me? Oh well, guess I"ll never know. "Is Kim here? She never called back..." I bit back a retort and simply rolled my eyes. The stalker. "No, she's out." He stared at me for a second, not quote comprehending. Oh, so my sister's not allowed to be anywhere without you now? "With her... girlfriend." There, not a lie. Just not... the whole truth. Hopefully it would get on his nerves.

I had the great pleasure of watching his face crinkle with confusion. I glared at him, though it wasn't one of those I-hate-your-guts-glare. It was more like a what-the-fuck-do-**you**-want glares. When realization dawned on him, his face went smooth and hid his emotions. I knew that look, and I was a pro at it. "Her girlfriend?" He asked, his voice cracking with confusion and hurt. Wow, **he** is suck a sissy. If I said that to another guy, they would probably bug me about where she was until I either told them or slammed the door and broke their nose. "Yeah. They went to hit another place... you know the type. Music and food?" For a second, I contemplated my answer. Did it sound reasonable? The mall follows that... right? Like I would even know. Malls are gross.

His face retained his perfect composure and even I was impressed. Sometimes guys thought I was using the nonliterary term and thought she was at a club with a friend that was a girl. I tried again. "They're pretty busy... moving a whole lot. Maybe later..." My face was completely still, though I added in a touch of pity and boredness. Sadly, he realized what the rest of them hadn't. "Skylaar?" His voice suddenly when from still to accusing. It was deep as if he were speaking to a 2nd grader rather than a kid only 3 years younger, damn him to heaven-yeah, hell was already taken by me. I wouldn't survive if I spent the rest of my dead days with him, ew. "Are you here alone? What are you doing?" Of course! Yet again, he attemped to look around me. Genious.

Now it was my turn to be the cautious one. Oh the tables have turned. I stood right next to the door frame with the door enclosing me on the other side. Now the only way was to look above me. Luckily I made sure to close all the window curtains and the kitchen, untouched by the way, was right in his view. "Oh, you know... homework." Unfortunately, he didn't buy it. Maybe Satin was mad? Had I not made a good enough excuse? "Oh?" He said, obviously not believing a word out of my mouth. I vigorously nodded, frustrated and hoping he would just leave now. It wasn't fun anymore, he was just wasting my time. "Yep, and you're wasting my time," speaking from my mind, "Why are you here? God, Jared, it's like eleven! Can't you get a life?" I wasn't exactly sure what time it really was, probably actually past midnight. Not that he would know or I would care. At my words, he slightly flinched and his poker face began cracking. Yes! I hit the jackpot. Life just got better again.

"It's just... hard for me to be awa from her," he mumbled under his breath. It don't know if he realized it or not yet, but I was standing less than a foot away. I could here everything he said, but I was careful with my next words. "Stalker." It was just a quiet mutter, and even I barely heard it. I only knew what I said cause well... I said it. Yet, he winced. Oh well, better hear it than not! He opened his mouth and paused, probably thinking of what to say. Eh, why would I care what he said? Say it and let me get on with my own life, I mentally yelled. "Skylaar, do you know the stories about imprinting?" His voice was slow and careful. Was he serious? They told the stories all around school, no one listened to them. They're pieces of shit, passed down from generation to generation, and they're so pointless.

Even so, I nodded, just to get him finished and moved on. "Kim won't shut up about it." Without another word, I stepped back and tried to shut the door. His hand caught it at the last moment and creaked it open a bit so he could at least see my face. Oh chocolate. "Do you understand now?" His voice kind of waved at the end, if you know waht I mean. It was kind of like do-you-know-what-I-am-saying-loser? Uh, yes-I-do-Jared-yes-I-do! I groaned, really loud, just to piss him off. "Oh, **shit**. Don't say you imprinted on me, please!" He was taken back by the language, and would probably tell my parents later. Fucktard. It was worth it though. Lucky for me, Satan still needed my handy-dandy evil plots. With a quick eye roll he sighed, "Of course not." Yes! Lucky break! "Good. Then go." "Skylaar, I imprinted on Ki-" I slammed the door without hearing the rest. I didn't need to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3 weeks later

The doorbell chimed and before the 2nd bell even finished, Kim sprinted for it like it held treasures of, I don't know, Morocco. She unlocked the lock and opened the door-and who would'be known! Guess who it was. Jared. Again. That's like the 4th time this day. **Day! **Satan help me now. "Jared," she murmured breathlessly. Oh what is it now? Did he suddenly sprout wings and become and angel? I said it more like a curse word. I looked up from my laptop and glared at them, although it didn't work that well, they weren't really looking back. They stood their for a moment, locked in each other's gaze. Oh... chocolate. I groaned, just to get them to stop staring. She turned for a moment with a sweet smile and mouthed "Rule Number 1". Translation: Don't fucking interupt me when I'm having a moment! Um yeah, I'm not allowed to speak, groan, cough, sneeze, laugh, or make any sudden movement. When was I so limited in my own home?

Jared stepped in and looked up the stairs, opposite of where I was actually sitting. My improved hearing let me hear his whisper to Kim, "Is your sister here?" I quietly sighed and rolled my eyes, just for him. Same thing, all the time. Kim looked down and nodded, knowing what he would suggest. He asked if she would like to try a nice restaurant up in Forks. I don't care what she says anymore, "Jeez! Get a cell phone! Example." I whipped mine from my pocket and speed dialed Kristin. "Hi Kris," I annouced, loud enough for them to hear. They simply rolled their eyes and ignored me. The couple walked out the door and just left. Great. "They're doin it again." I said, straight to the point. Kris is awesome. She understood immediately. "They're going up to Forks?" When do they not? "Yeah." She laughed, ah yes, my evil twin sister. "Excellent. I'll bring Griffin."

Ugh. Being around imprinted people all the time, really starts to get on someone's nerves. Kristin, unlike me, lived up in Forks. Oh, I wish I were her so badly. I could stand being around Griffin, but Jared is a complete asshole. I'd give anything to live in Forks, away from him. Anyway, Kristin came down to visit me awhile ago when we ran into the werewolf gang. Of course, I must've done something in my past life cause Griffin just **had** to imprint on her. Like everyone else, they never looked away from each other. It's like their one person, ugh. The good thing is though, he has a cell phone. Plus he's not a stalker. I think. When I hung up with Kristin I hopped off the couch. It was time.


	2. The Glue Incident

Well, I gotta say, this one was pretty good. It started out simple enough, notice I said started. It was simply just another one of my-successful-schemes to break up **them**. Kim and Jrd, ew. I can't even type his name, he doesn't deserve vowels. Lucky for me, it's been a very nice hobby since **he** saw her in the first place. If you're reading this, you should know what I mean by "saw". Just to make this clear, this whole situation which you're about to read, is **all**... his fault. **Everything.**

So, let's talk about me now. I am told, and I know, that I am one of those rare evil geniuses who could embarrass somebody, anybody, without breaking a sweat. The good part was that Jrd had become the new toy for my games, which he hates, but you know what? I love it, so it's not my fault he has to go all sobsob on me. My recent plan involved a little thing that, shall I say, involved hot glue plus Jrd. So here's the recount:

I had planned this all night and it was perfect. I noticed that Kim had spent a large part of the day setting up the living room. She placed candles around the room, scented by the way, and even bothered wearing a so called "sexy outfit". It was so obvious what they were planning and I spent the greater part of this waiting in my room until the "cute couple" went to their room. Anyway, I won't deny that my sister was pretty. I wasn't sure what she had done, but her hair had a wavy look and it looked smooth. Her eyeliner blended neatly with her lashes creating a lose effect of bright eyes. Damn her. She made me look like a drug addict. What I was really waiting for though, was to catch them in a pretty compromising position, if you catch my drift.

I left my door open a crack and quickly walked to a desk. This was important, and I needed to find something good! I wrenched open a drawr filled with movies. At random I picked on and made a quick glance, just to be sure it would seem convincing. JAWS. ...oh well, it'll do. With my DVD in hand I walked back to the door. I had my movie and set my trap. I was ready. I held my ear against the door and peaked through just a crack. I could barely see them, doing things that I didn't really want to say, but not enough to be sure. The best things came to good people. With that in mind, I burst through.

The door pushed open, but not hard enough to slam the wall. If I did that, then I might be caught. See, I thought these things through first. I took one full glance and yelled. Surprisingly, even to me, it wasn't fake. I won't go into details, but let's just say it wasn't a pretty sight. Most of the clothing looked like it was thrown on the floor and Kim's hand was stuck in a pretty disgusting place on Jrd. After this, I probably should've felt sorry, but even to this day, he doesn't deserve vowels. I don't think he ever will. When Kim's eye caught mine, she leaped up with a rush and attemped to lunge at me. For one, it didn't work so well. I was already on the way up the stairs, two by two. It also didn't work out cause, well, she took Jrd with her. Surprise surprise. Yet her strength powered by her anger and embarassment still wasn't enough from stopping me from fulfilling my plot.

On the way up, I yelled for Mom and Dad. My voice was strong and had a slight hysteria to it. I'm still not sure to this day if it was fake or not. "MOM, DAD!" I stood at their door slamming my fists into it without mercy. Hey, it was a door, it could be fixed later. "I WALKED INTO THE LIVING ROOM WITH A MOVIE AND I CAUGH KIM AND JARED ALMOST HAVING SEX ALL OVER THE COUCH!" I'm not 100% sure, but I'm almost sure that the statement got through to them pretty well. I quick backed away to the side, and I swear I have never seen Dad run so fast in my entire life. Even when I had got a nail stuck in my foot! It makes me feel hurt... but I'm over it now.

His voice was thick with profanities flying out of his mouth. They were almost inaudible to me, but I was lucky enough to catch them. I'll make sure to store them in my mind for later to use on Jrd. I also heard something about saftey for his daughter, though I can't be positive. I hope he didn't mean me though, I feel fine. I switched my head to Mom who was right behind him. They were jumping down the stairs faster than they let me! Am I not allowed any rights in this house anymore? Why does Jrd get more rights then me? Oh well, it's not like I fit in **that** well with the family.

The 'rents ran into the main room and caught Kim and Jrd making out. The scary thing was, this time they had no clothes on. Did they not hear me screaming up the stairs or something? Maybe I need to work on that. Kim and Jrd sprang apart-not an easy feat with that glue-and what saddened me was the fact that Kim tried to hide her boyfriend behind her. I can't believe she thought that'd work. It's sad because I'm related to her. Mom noticed me a few stairs up and began pacing toward me. My hand was gripped onto the edge and my face contorted into a grossed out expression even though I was kind of fascinated. Not like **that**, it's just that Kim has never gotten in trouble like that and I wanted the parents to yell at someone other than me. Boy, did they really get into it, I think they forgot I was there.

Dad's face was turning a very... odd purple shade. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ON THIS COUCH? YOU ARE RUINING A TME HONORED TRADITION FOR ME AND YOUR MOTHER." He paused, just a split second though, to catch his breath when he noticed that they were still holding each other. "AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? WHAT IS THIS GLUE? THINK IT'D BE COOL, HUH, FIRST TIME AND YOU HAVE GLUE?" His forehead crinkled with anger and his eyes narrowed to slits. Dad never got **this** mad, even at me. "WAIT, THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME, RIGHT?" It was a very weird conversation, and I was thankful for being a witness. Every night I pray to God, every dinner I thank God, just for this night. I thought it'd never come.

It was kind of weird though, and believe it or not, it got even weirder. His eyes cast down to where I was standing, absolutly horrified, "AND YOU! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN COME DOWN HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, LITTLE GIRL?" What? Was there some rule now that I wasn't allowed in the living room too? I already lost the privilage to the kitchen and all I did then was take and hide a few knives! Where was the harm in that? I raised my voice in protest, but he was past noticing, "YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON'T EVEN CARE!" His voice boomed and everyone, except Mom of course, flinched. For a hopeful moment there, I was so sure he would throw Jrd out. Sadly, it didn't look like the day.

On the other hand, Mom was more thoughtful, some would call it sensitive I guess. I must've had a lucky break though because she still wasn't letting down. "KIM! I THOUGHT I TAUGHT YOU BETTER THAN THIS! HERE YOU ARE, ON A COUCH FOR GOD'S SAKE, NOT EVEN BOTHERING TO PROTECT YOURSELF, NOT EVEN MARRIED, AND... AND WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THAT'S MINE!" Her voice slightly shook at the end, and it was now clear that she was trying to fight the tears that were beginning to slip down her cheek. Kim looked down, eyes wide, in embarassment. She fingered the fringe of the lingerie-which I soon indeed recognized as Mom's. The best part was that her hand was still grabbed onto Jrd, erm, down there. I wish I had caught this on tape. At least I'll always have a good memory, and a good event for blackmailing.

He shifted uncomfortably, probably wishing Kim would let go. Actually, I take that back. He's probably wishing she would let go in front of her parents, but go back once they were alone again. Yes, it's so obvious. Dad stomped over there and... oh. My. Chocolate. Best part, ever. He snatched a particularly strong grip and ripped Kim's hand off of Jared. The glue was torn off, and I heard some... nice things, but the look on Jrd's face-was priceless. Yes. He stood still as a statue, but he was doubled over. Well, it wasn't getting interesting now, so I inwardly sighed and I was just getting ready to leave when I saw it.

Scratch that, **this** was the best part. I must've been like a good angel in my previous death. God loves me. Dad was-and I promise to all that is sacred to myself-getting... hard... at the sight of his own daughter in a lingerie. WHAT KIND OF MESSED UP WORLD IS THIS? My eyes widened, and I completely forgot about my dropped expression. My mouth lifted up and my mouth was hanging in a bright clown-like smile as if I won the lottery. Yes.


	3. Second Best Prankster

**Authors note: Plot by ME, but written and comedy-ized by Skylaar Wolf. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, or Skylaar. Skylaar owns Skylaar.**

_That's gay._

I shifted my body, leaning to one side, standing and blankly staring up at a sign. I found myself right outside a drugstore-one that, if you looked by the dumpsters, actually sold drugs! I invisibly wrote a note to myself to tell my friends about it later. It wasn't that we took drugs or anything, no, my simple mind wouldn't allow it. I was simply thinking for the sake of Jrd-which is what I was currently doing, though not in a good way. (He still doesn't deserve vowels or any kind of punctuation after his name.) (Pronounced like Jerd, like jerd, but with a D not a K.) (In case you didn't notice, I don't know how to spell pirenthasyises.) (I looked it up-it's parenthesis.) (Yes, I put multiple peranthesiseses in a row.) (That's six in a row now... back to the story.)

I was planning on buying some new super glue after my latest prank I had unfortunately run out. Of course, **everyone** knows that glue is the key to good pranking, so here I was now. I inwardly sighed, wondering if this was really the only place that sold glue that actually worked. My mom was sitting in her car-probably listening to the radio-waiting for me to come back. Not wanting to make her wait, I walked in. The air was pretty cool inside and at first glance it **looked** clean, but then again, no drug store was. I wouldn't put it beyond them. I quickly paced toward the main aisles-all the while glancing at the hanging signs to see which one it was in. Once finding it, I turned toward the shelves and glanced at the brands.

I didn't say this before, but now we're too the present. Yeah, er, pretend that was all like a memory. I mean it was, but I never said it... yeah. So, you're wondering what I thought was gay. Let me enlighten your clueless brain! It was what I saw as I read the brands. Some of the titles are very... well, let me just read some to you: - Sticky Hands (No explanation necessary) - Glue Tight (The logo... is actually... wearing tights. It had GAY written all over it.) - EZ Stick (This was named by gay people.) - The Hard Stuff (I used this for my last prank... it fits the prank! If you get the gist...)

I would name a few others, as they just made me lungs burst and tears fall out of my eyes, but this fan fiction is only rated T and I don't want to be responsible for corrupting your youthful innocence. So, yes. I know what you're thinking-yes! I do! I made a sacred pact a long time ago with Satin, I can read minds. (Let me tell you though, it comes in handy a lot.) (No not like that phony baloney Edward.) (Ew.) (I shudder at his name.) (Actually I don't, I set fires at his name. :D) (6 and counting.) Anyway, you're wondering, "If this is true, how is it a fan fiction?" That's for me to know and for you to wonder about.

(I'm going to start using txt lnge. U notice anythng? :D) (U knw wut I noticed? I liek peerynthasisesses!) (Oops, parenthesis) (On a side note, Y R pyranthases shaped liek ears, or bettr yet b00bs?) ( )( ) ( )( ) (Kims.) (I know, I know.) (I even made the grl sittin across fr0m me laugh.) (Fuck yes.) (That's 14.) (Ok, I'll get bak 2 the story.) (16) (Srry, had 2 do dat.) (Okay, Final count: 18) So I'm standing here, feeling very proud of my straightness because I'm standing in a never ending field of gayness. (Hey, you'd be proud too.) Then suddenly this GOLD guy starts walking down the aisle!

His skin is pasty and whiter (is that a word?) than yellow snow. (I don't know about you, but I was in laughing hysterics in my mind.) His eyes were deep amber as if they could see every bad deed you've ever done. (I think my eye twitched here.) His hair was brown and lightly curled, dang. Even the way he walked was alluring! It was even and his muscles looked like he could lift a car with one hand. You're probably thinking, "Ah, true love." What? No! Where did that come from? No! I'm laughing! Hysterically! Actually in my mind, in reality, I blinked with boredom, but I was actually kind of curious. Ugh. He looked like one of those "runaway models" in guy form. Next thing you know, a runaway model will probably be chasing after him.

In his hand, he was holding some kind of container. I couldn't tell what it was, sadly, but from what I could guess it seemed like those long Pringle containers. I couldn't be sure though. Ignoring the gold man (he was probably rich too) I turned back to the glue, and quickly snatched a bottle of The Hard Stuff. It was definitely gay, but I used it for my last prank, and it went well, might as well give them a 2nd try to see if it's worthwhile. I grunted for really no reason at all, just for the sake of grunting, and turned back to the front counter. I wasn't looking where I was going, and slammed into something hard. Fuck. I think my nose might've been broken. Well it wasn't, but it felt like that. I almost tripped backward, but caught my feet just in time.

I snapped my eyes up and locked them with-wouldn't fate have it-the gold guy. I felt special now. My mouth frowned to the side, which I was told kind of looked like a mad smirk, I wouldn't know though. It didn't bother to look in a mirror either, that would feel weird and it would make brain cells die. Before I could say anything though, he scratched his neck in embarrassment and apologized, "Sorry there, I wasn't exactly looking where I was going." Well, as long as **he** apologized first, then I would let it slide. Next time I would ka-ra-te chop his sorry gold butt. "That's okay, I wasn't looking where I was going either."

I began making my way around him, the big fellow, but he turned with me and quickly said, "Wait." My head twisted around curiously, eyebrows raised I asked, "Huh?" I'm 100% sure I sounded smart. I mean really, everyone says "What" so I went with "Huh". I could totally see it in his eyes. "Well..." He trailed off twirling the can he was holding. "I was just trying to find someone to open this can. As ashamed as I am, I can't really open it..." I'm sure I looked totally confused, but I swear I wasn't! I knew what he was saying, but really. He was like 5" 7' or something and his muscles looked like you could pop them with a needle like a balloon! Yeah, they were **that** big.

I inwardly smirked, my eye glinted. He looked new here, I hadn't seen him around before. He seemed pretty nice too. I could probably get him to help me prank against Jrd. Yes. I grabbed the can without permission and shrugged as if it were no big deal, "Sure, I mean, I'll try." I tilted my head down and tried to glance in, but it was too dark. There was no telling what was in there. Slowly I began twisting it. Liar. It wasn't that hard to open. Just this one fact left me thinking, _what was in there?_ I'm sure now that it was a trick. The top easily twisted and besides, couldn't he just seriously snap the container in half?

Suddenly, my hand jerked, just the slightest though. Something just crashed against it, but I didn't let go. Something was there. I held the top shut so tight it didn't even look like I had opened it. That son of a mother's fucking pearl. Liar. It was probably one of those retarded party things that popped up when you open them. Nobody could out prank the prankster. I held the top down with two fingers and held it with the rest. I slightly leaned it, just so it would face him, but stuck my arm out. It would look so obvious if I just leaned it without moving it. "Sorry, that's pretty tough."

He must've known it was easy because a frown formed on his face. He kind of looked confused too, hm, he should. The guy reached out with his hand and grabbed the can. I let go. I was totally right. Numerous colors flew out and smacked him in the face. They kind of looked like my cat-going 100mph into something without stopping. Except, they were colorful. Yay, I pranked a helpless victim. When they all flew out and fell to the ground, he simply stood there staring at the can. Did he even blink? Without a care, I shrugged and smirked, "Nobody can prank me. I'm the mast of pranking." Let him think of what he wanted to.

My exclamation must've brought him to his senses though because his head snapped toward me and he jumped a bit. I knew it. He opened his mouth, but soon closed it, speechless. Oh! Now he looked like my fish! I loved charades. He must've been in his left mind on vacation because he suddenly became unretarted, "Oh umm... I didn't even know." That was so sad. "Whatever, you can't even think of a straight lie." I finally pulled his britches. Poor little yellow snow colored fellow. He flung the plastic can on the ground and pouted at me, "Anyone else would've been surprised." Ha! I hate to tell you, but your prank wasn't **that** good. I didn't want to seem mean though, "Ah, yeah, but it was me."

He grunted, obviously not accepting the fact that he couldn't prank a 14 year old girl. "Listen, you're new around here are you not?" I didn't feel like waiting for an answer, and most people-hopefully him too-would be able to tell it was just a fact. "Well, if you plan on sticking around awhile, I could teach you the art of pranking." I coyly smiled at him, maybe he would take up my offer. I don't know about him, but he must've been okay with it because he soon agreed. He stuck out his hand in agreement, "Sure. By the way, I'm Emmett." I rolled my eyes, did anyone shake anymore? Did anyone spit shake? Just for spite, I quickly spit on my hand and shook his. His smile fell, his eyes darkened, and he looked horrified. That's what he got. I laughed at his expression, "Cool. The name's Skylaar, don't forget it."

Out of the corner of his body, I saw some kind of figure coming down the aisle. I moved my head to the side to try and peek around him. Noticing my movement, Emmett let go, wiped his hand on his shirt-ha-and turned toward my gaze. An older girl came strutting down the aisle. Her hair was a highlighted blond and waved down her back. Her body was slim and had curves everywhere. I mean, sure guys probably liked curves, but it was almost too gross. Her lips were smothered in red lipstick and her eyeliner clashed with her skin. Oddly enough, it was also pearly white. Instead though, she looked like silver. I knew it. I so fucking knew it.

Her piercing gold eyes locked with mine, but as soon as they did she looked back to Emmett. "Honey, what are you doing with this... girl?" Her voice laced with anger. Ha! She was jealous. I tried to resist rolling my eyes, but then again, this is me we're talking about. I did it anyway. Her head flashed faster than I though a human could, and glared at me. "What was that for?" Oh, no. I wasn't afraid, life always got better in bad moments. I innocently smiled, "Oh nothing. Just a joke I was thinking about." My eyes furiously glanced between the two. So they were a couple. Gold... silver.... silver... gold. I knew it. My student was a stereotypical prankster. Just what I need.

The woman though obviously wouldn't take this lightly and was just even more angered, "Oh? What joke?" By now, my mom was probably mad. I didn't want to run, or leave, but if I didn't I would be grounded from the house again. That meant to pranks on Jrd. Now it was pride or pranking Jrd. I didn't even have to think about it. "Oh nothing, just an inside joke I had with Em." Ha! Pretty good nickname right? She would be so jealous and poor ol' Emmett would get a beating. Maybe even break up! You don't mess with me. Without another thought, and pivoted around and walked out the store. I mean, of course I paid and everything, but that would be boring to read about right? Anyway, my mom was waiting for me.

"What took you so long?" She scolded. Ugh, moms. I clipped my seatbelt on and waited until she started up the car. "Nothing Mom, I just made some new friends. They're pretty cool." Yes they are, and they'll be even better friends when they've known me longer. Luckily I said the right thing-really, I know moms-as her mood immediately lightened. "Oh that's wonderful! Maybe you'll see them at school?" I blankly looked out the window, "Probably." They did seem like high schoolers, and there was only one high school in Forks. I sighed and chuckled at the pranks to come.

**Author's Note: Parenthesis is spelled wrong on purpose.**


	4. Caution: Read With Care

**This is an authors note. I noticed that one person asked me why there were two stories exactly alike floating around here and this is the answer: Skylaar and I go to school together and we write the stories together during class. We both decided to post them so that we could both take credit. I write the stories, come up with the plot, (i also come up with the awesome pranks) ect... and then I email them to her and she adds all the comic and life to the character since it's based on her. So we co-write, and I just wanted that to be clear. Okay? Cool. If you would rather read them on her account, her username is Skylaar Wolf, and the story is "Photo Album".**

**Thanks,**

**Kristin**


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